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Growing up in successful, powerful families can be complicated. There are many blessed life experiences and privileges, yet the metaphorical shadows cast by beloved family members -a parent, grandparent, even multiple family members, or the whole family system- can be so large, they're hard to escape. It can look exciting and glamorous from the outside, maybe even induce envy and cause others (maybe even you) to mistake healthy, normal frustrations as unjustifiable complaints -because "you have nothing to complain about!?" But you do. Everyone does. There is always something to be grateful for and, at the same time, there's always something that could use some attention and repair work. And, if we don't speak up, how is anything supposed to be addressed and healed? Though, it requires holding the tension in the "middle space," where the "wise mind" lives (a DBT principle based in Buddhist philosophy), and where multiple things -things that may initially seem like they are in opposition- can be true at the same time. For example, we can be both appreciative and address what's still not quite working. 

It is a rare but confusing set of stressors that come with being so close to all the power but still being somewhat powerless, perhaps even feeling at another's mercy, or like the expectations are almost too big, too high, too great to ever meet. Sometimes labels like "nepo baby" are used to describe this position, but this oversimplified -often hurtful!- term does such a disservice to the complexity of both the grand opportunities and the potentially crushing weight of responsibility and expectation. It can be a minefield of stumbling blocks and double-bind paradoxes where you're "damned if you do, damned if you don't." An impossible push-pull that often comes with few sympathetic ears able to listen to your unique woes. Or, if they are able to listen, they often don't know how to effectively support finding relief or solutions.

Together, we can find and reclaim YOU and your beautiful, unique, wonderful life ...that might've gotten a bit suppressed along the way. We can discover the distance at which you can love your family and yourself, while not abandoning your needs, integrity, core truths. And, learning the liberating dance of how to hold these healthy boundaries with compassion -for yourself and for those around you- will serve you in all areas of life. As will developing your ability to catch your nervous system's unique body cues (this helps identify when your amygdala gets triggered and sends your nervous system into a protective stance). Then we can get curious and untangle what is 1) historic but still needs to be witnessed, held, and healed, versus 2) what belong to the moment and needs to be addressed in the now (this is based on IFS principles). Hint: it is usually a combo of the two. And, at the same time, it can significantly help the situation to do our own work first, and calm down our own nervous system before addressing the issue in the present moment with anyone else.