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Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?

“Stop overreacting.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Why are you being so sensitive?”

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Did you ever hear statements like these growing up? Do you still? Or, have you ever felt like you’re the only person in the room overwhelmed by everything around you? Too many people. Too much movement. Too much noise. Too many smells. Too much of everything. Have you ever just wanted to cry, or scream, or hide -for no apparent reason? Maybe you've gotten gloriously overwhelmed by a sunset, a wisp of cloud, a perfectly orchestrated musical note, food dish, or piece of art? Or, during conflict, have you ever felt like you were almost outside your body, unable to respond in the way you later wish you could've? Maybe you’ve noticed that you have a social battery that eventually goes empty if you keep socializing without enough breaks to replenish? Perhaps you have the ability to catch even the smallest social cues others seem to miss: a quick side eye, a small sharp exhale, a stiffened back, a forced smile. You anticipate. You brace. Maybe you’ve even learned to avoid -if you can get away with it.

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Or, maybe you're exploring therapy for: 

  • Burnout : after years of constant overstimulation, hyper vigilance, working over-time, taking in so much information 

  • Relationship Difficulties : porous boundaries, emotional caretaking, trying to avoid conflict, people-pleasing, feeling misunderstood

  • Perfectionism : do you ever notice that you process information deeply, often overanalyze things, then fear making a mistake?

  • Anxiety : social, generalized, anticipatory

  • Shame : have you ever been labeled as "too much" at any point in your life? Do you sometimes fear you're "too much," like something is fundamentally, foundationally wrong with you?

  • Emotional Exhaustion especially if you're in a profession where you have to pay attention to cues outside of yourself, like: therapist, physician, artist, caregiver, or executive under chronic pressure

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If you can identify with any of these experiences, it might be worth exploring if you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP). 

 

While HSP is not a diagnosis in the DSM-5, it is a very real experience, originally introduced by psychologists Elaine N. Aaron, PhD, and Arthur Aaron, PhD, in the 1990's. The symptoms of HSP are a complex multi-sectional stew, begging for deeper curiosity and witnessed attunement. There might be a dash of sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), or some trauma-related conditions (PTSD, C-PTSD), maybe a smidge of neurodivergence (ADHD, ASD), even some anxiety issues (GAD, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety, etc.) or OCD, or perhaps it’s just how you were born or learned to navigate environments throughout your life? Whatever the unique combination is that made you so wonderfully sensitive, it’s worth unpacking. And, it’s absolutely worth empowering you with tools to uncover the beauty of your sensitivity, and unlock all their secret super powers. 

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Four Basic Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People:

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  1. Depth of Processing: There tends to be much more deep thinking before acting, less impulsivity and tons of analyzing, noticing patterns others miss, and reflecting or ruminating on old conversations.

  2. Overstimulation: Often triggered by the following culprits: crowded environments, conflict, multitasking, excessive social interaction, loud sounds, bright lights, chronic stress. All of this can lead to irritability, exhaustion, emotional shutdown, anxiety, indecision.

  3. Emotional Responsiveness and Empathy: Research consistently finds clients reporting that they cry easily, absorb others' emotions, feel profound compassion, experience intense grief, and have strong reactions to beauty, music, art.

  4. Sensitivity to Subtleties: There tends to be an ability to notice details others overlook. For example: a slight change in facial expression, tone of voice, shifts in relationship dynamics, physical sensations, environmental changes. These sensitivities can sometimes translate to hyper vigilance.

 

As a therapist, I don’t ever want to make any of my clients “less sensitive,” but I do want to help you understand yourself, gain some agency over your experiences, and learn to use these gifts in the most glorious ways! I like to think of it like a superhero story: before the hero knows how to use their super powers, they feel overwhelmed, out of control, even frustrated. But, the answer isn’t to disconnect the hero from their powers. The magical shift happens when the hero understands both the challenges of their powers and how to harness them effectively. And, then, the icing on the cake is learning to embrace both the highly sensitive and unique parts and everything else about you that also makes you special and relatable -so you don't feel alone or isolated! 

What sessions might look like?

 

I always start with a physical, somatic body check in. These happen regularly, throughout sessions -especially if anything begins to feel elevated. This helps you build and reinforce the neural pathways that connect to your interoceptive body awareness -which will also come in handy outside of sessions.

 

Then we go exploring: we will talk about your current issues, while also exploring your past, and how they inform each other. We will untangle what belongs to you and what doesn’t, and learn to identify, form, and hold healthy boundaries -with empathy and compassion. We will get to know your younger parts and work to gain their trust so they can release some control and allow “present day you” to take the reins.

 

I will help you understand what’s happening in your brain, body, and nervous system so you don’t feel as hijacked when they’re trying to send signals to protect you. We might talk about dreams, make collages, or just sit and feel everything you’ve had to bottle up. I might recommend some podcasts or books, or give you some homework, which might be to do some journaling or make some "really bad" art or go to a yoga class.

 

It may feel like we’re spelunking in an impossibly dark cave at times, but I’ve always got hold of an anchoring line to guide us through. And, after years of lived experience and positive results (and being highly sensitive, myself), I can make these claims confidently. I've got you. I even know that you've got you.

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A glimpse behind the scenes (aka my "anchor lines"):

 

Psychodynamic and Depth Psychology Approaches can scratch that depth-loving itch. We can explore subconscious materials, intuition, dreams, spirituality -and also attachment styles, relational patterns, identity, and your ability to deeply process on multiple levels at the same time. IFS interventions fit in here: uncovering the scared, shamed little child hiding within and providing them with comfort and safety. We want to gain their trust and get their consent before bulldozing ahead.

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Mindfulness-Based Interventions give us spaces to improve emotional regulation and cultivate awareness without judgement. But, ironically, these can sometimes have a counterproductive effect, at least initially: amplifying the distress of the sensitivity. So, it’s a “proceed with awareness” space. But, one that can be super supportive when eased into and the right fit is found.

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Somatic Approaches and EMDR-related Protocols emphasize nervous system regulation, interoceptive awareness, breathing, and grounding, and help to reprocess big emotional sensations into safer feelings that can be better tolerated. Somatic awareness gives us a window into your body’s unique alarm system and defenses (the amygdala flares when it senses something "familiar" that it wasn't equipped to handle in the past, even if you have the skills to handle it now). This will increase your understanding of what’s going on inside you. You won’t be at the mercy of your body’s sensations, but able to use them as tools to better understand yourself, your environment. Using somatics, a little CBT/DBT, and EMDR-related protocols -ex: bilateral stimulation through walks, specially designed guided meditations, even art therapy- we can take even more of the edge off.

 

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can also help you tolerate intense emotions and use them adaptively, while accepting (rather than avoiding) the intense experiences. Together, we can find “manageable-feeling” growth edges and build resilience and self-trust as you mindfully and sensitively push yourself outside of comfort zones. To be clear, this is not a “jump into the deep end” or “do it all at once” strategy, but more of a titrated experiment using eyedroppers. Everyone, every single day, will have a unique bandwidth, threshold, and window of tolerance. We want self-consent -and to build self-trust with gentle compassion and kind self-talk.​​​​

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​Sources:

  • Aron, E. N., & Aron, A. (1997). Sensory-processing sensitivity and its relation to introversion and emotionality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(2), 345–368.

  • Aron, E. N. (2017). The Highly Sensitive Person (revised ed.). Broadway Books.

  • Acevedo, B. P., Aron, E. N., Aron, A., Sangster, M.-D., Collins, N., & Brown, L. L. (2014). The highly sensitive brain: An fMRI study of sensory processing sensitivity and response to others' emotions. Brain and Behavior, 4(4), 580–594.

  • Greven, C. U., Lionetti, F., Booth, C., et al. (2019). Sensory Processing Sensitivity in the context of Environmental Sensitivity: A critical review and development of research agenda. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 98, 287–305.

  • Belsky, J., & Pluess, M. (2009). Beyond diathesis stress: Differential susceptibility to environmental influences.Psychological Bulletin, 135(6), 885–908.

  • Pluess, M. (2015). Individual Differences in Environmental Sensitivity. Child Development Perspectives, 9(3), 138–143.

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